Daddy's Girl

This was a poem I wrote for my daughter Rachel for her graduation from high school last May. She has always been my daddy's girl. I have always abhorred those parents that gloat excessively about their kids. I get the unconditional love that a parent has for their children but I always felt that was best expressed to the child not to the world. I must admit I break my own rule on this sometimes. I am very proud of the kind of person Rachel has become. She has a compassion and sense of justice for those who are not as privileged that is uncommon for most of us and especially one as young as she is. I constantly am learning from her. This was her graduation gift and it was as meaningful and valuable as any gift I could possibly buy for her, at least in my eyes.

Daddy's Girl

There are no words to say how proud
There is no song that I can sing
No hug that can last long enough
That tell or show you how I feel

It seems like it was yesterday
You were a babe upon my arms
Then in a classroom down the hall
Each moment special along the way

With your spirit of compassion
And your gentle, giving soul
God has blessed you with gifts to share
Now take these gifts and let your life soar

A small part of life behind you
So many great journeys ahead
My prayers and thoughts will be with you
Forever you will be Daddy's Girl

Eyes

This one is a work in progress...feel free to help out. I am big believer in the eyes being the window to your soul. I am sure I am not alone but I believe I can tell a great deal about a person just by looking into their eyes. It can be intimidating to have someone really look into your eyes, maybe scary as I'm not sure I want others to see into my soul for fear they may not like who I am. Those who I am closest to I can see their state of being almost immediately by looking in their eyes. A friend I work with this year came to a meeting and I knew immediately something was wrong. She had sad eyes. She was surprised when I asked her about it as she thought it was hidden. There was some stress in her life and it showed up in her eyes. When I was in college I sang with a Christian rock band. We used to pray that the audience would see Jesus in our eyes. That they would see a difference in our eyes. It was miraculous how many times we were told after a concert that they could see something different in our eyes. Yep, the eyes have it for me.

Eyes

Will you look into my eyes
And see into my soul
If you see into my soul
Will there be a fire burning
If you see a fire burning
Who will the flame belong to
And if the flame belongs to God
Will you see Jesus in my eyes

Will you look into my eyes
And see into my life
If you see into my life
Will there be compassion or pride
If you see compassion
Will the actions of my life reflect that
And if you see pride and not love
Will you see sadness in my eyes

Will you look into my eyes
And see beyond my sin
If you see beyond my sin
Will there be a child of God
If you see a child of God
Will I see a child of God too
And if I see a child of God
Will I see beauty in your eyes

Not sure if this is in its final mode but you get the drift.

Communion

Communion for me is the most powerful experience of worship. I always pray before I go up for the bread and wine with an image in mind. I have this image of Jesus from a pic we had in our room in college. We always called it the Jesus after basketball pic. It looked like Jesus just finished playing an outside pick up game of basketball. Well for me anyway. Then I picture this Jesus on the cross, blood dripping down from his nail scarred hands. This blood drops to my blackened, sinful heart. The next image is so powerful for me, the red blood drops on the blackened heart and where it lands turn white. This is how I picture communion the body and blood going into my blackened heart and I leave with a pure, white heart. I've always wanted to get one of my talented artist friends to paint this picture for me. After I commune I always go back to my pew and give thanks for his healing and forgiveness, for my white heart, knowing it will be black again soon. I'm sure many people in church wonder why I'm praying before and after instead of singing the communion songs. It is without question the most significant part of my worship experience.

Communion

Take this body and this blood
Make white my blackened heart
Sharing a meal so simple
And God will do his part

Kneeling upon the altar
Take bread within your hand
A cup of wine to follow
Upon his grace you stand

As you receive the blessing
He pours out all His love
Forgiveness at communion
Peace descends like a dove

Faith Unknown

My faith walk has taken me many places and through many changes. Changes that have been personal, theological, positive, negative, and life-changing. Without my faith I would hate to imagine the choices I would have made or where I would have ended up. With it I have made plenty of mistakes, I can't fathom what they would have been without faith. I can say all the right things, put the right image forward, and know what some see as right. I don't live it as I speak it though. I used to be a real black & white faith guy in my early walk. I must admit I am much more gray now and have far more questions than answers. I don't think this is bad, it causes me to rely more on God's grace and forgiveness. That is truly where it is supposed to be at anyway I think. As I dig further into social and justice issues I am finding my faith, my Jesus, my purpose becoming more defined, more difficult, more real. (More on this later. Some good books to challenge your view on what faith may look like.) This love is so different than the love of the world and so radical that it doesn't fit a description but here is my take on this struggle.

Faith Unknown

I don't deserve
What I've been given
He's changed my life
But how am I livin'

I say the things
You're supposed to say
But I don't live
My faith in that way

I'd like to change
And follow my sounds
I fail often
But His grace abounds

I'm on my knees
'Cause it's all so gray
When on my own
So I'll have to pray

Lord, take my life
And make it your own
Teach me the love
That only you've known

Wishes and Stars

This is kind of a cheesy one for me. I am constantly, sometimes obsessively, seeking guidance, a sign, a calling as to what God wants me to be or do. Sometimes it is very invigorating, sometimes quite frustrating, sometimes it bogs me down, sometimes it vaults me into action. There are days, probably too many, that I want the answers NOW and there are days that I love the journey along the way. I feel like I have been blessed with so many gifts but don't feel I've really used them to make the difference that I could. So I'll keep on the journey and search. There is no GPS to help but with my God, my friends, and my family I know I am getting closer to what I'm supposed to be.

Wishes and Stars

Wishes and dreams
Will they all come true
Or will I keep hoping
And just feel blue

Reach for the stars
Or shoot for the moon
What on earth I'm doing
Please tell me soon

Journeys begun
Which path do I take
Moons, stars, wishes and dreams
Which will I make

True Friend

Wasn't planning on putting all these on tonight but I'm on a roll and what the heck, I have time. This next one was written for a good friend who was a para in my classroom. She became a good friend and confidant. Somewhere along the way things got messed up and our friendship fell apart. I missed her and what she brought to my classroom. It's a long story and really not one to share details on but we spent a year and a half without talking or communicating. I'm happy to say we have found forgiveness, grace, and healing in our friendship.Thanks be to God! It happened through tough circumstances but she is still a trusted friend and I believe I am that for her as well. We sometimes take for granted what our friends mean to us and how blessed we truly are. I have sometimes felt guilty about being so blessed with friends but it is with a grateful heart that I praise God for all those he has surrounded me with. AB it's good to have you back, may you continue to seek God's will and direction for your life and may He use me to help you along the way.

True Friend

A real, true friend is hard to find
One who listens and is kind
They take the time to show they care
And sometimes it's just being there

In my life I've had a hard time
To keep a friend that's so sublime
I always manage to build walls
A friendship then crumbles and falls

You no longer look in my eye
Or stop to say your radiant hi
I miss these subtle things you do
Friends like you are far too few

To say I'm sorry isn't enough
Actions unselfish can be tough
Forgive, move on is all my hope
I'll give you both sides of my rope

Promise I'll listen even more
And give you space from land to shore
So walls are broken down again
I then can be a real, true friend

Misplaced Trust

This shorty is not one of my favorites in style any way. Another experimenting with poetry styles thing but I think it was a swing and a miss. Hey, got to share my bad stuff too if I'm truly transparent. This poem comes from my own struggles to deal with life's dilemmas with things of this world. It never works for me. When I lose my focus on my Creator I am truly lost. Happens way too often, I guess I am a slow learner. Trust is a tricky thing. I tend to fall on the side of trusting everyone instead of being a cautious person. This sometimes gets you burned but I think I have been blessed far more than burned by this blind trust. However, when I trust in the One who made me, it is truly amazing how much peace there is. So why do I fail to do this so often?

Misplaced Trust

Misplaced trust in cerebral things
Seeking answers
Acceptance
In values and people temporal

Found faith in communal things
Asking questions
Belonging
In Your love and in all eternal

Flood My Soul

This a short one that was written when I was camping alone one weekend up by Grand Rapids. It started raining hard as I sat in the camper. I love thunderstorms and the sound of the rain on the camper. Can't explain the feeling but there is something powerful and yet soothing about it. I've been saying I'm peacefully conflicted and a thunderstorm in the camper may be the sound and feel of that. Doesn't matter where I am I love a thunderstorm. (In fact, I want to be a storm chaser.) There is something spiritual in all of it and I tried to capture that in this poem.

Flood My Soul

The rain pounds down
Will it float away my sin
Carry all my doubts
Sweep my fears away
Wash my muddy heart
Cleanse my cluttered mind
Spirit overflow me
Flood my soul with grace
The rain pounds down

I realize I wrote this also when I was experimenting with different styles of poetry. I sometimes get wordy with my poems and wanted to see if I could express my inner thoughts more concisely through poetry. I like this one and the flow of it. It captures my image, my faith struggles and walk quite well.

North Shore

Esther and I have gone to a place just south of Gooseberry for our anniversary for a number of years. (We missed this past year, my daughter insisted on me going to her graduation!) I love the North Shore. The sound of the waves pounding on the rocks is truly music to my ears. I have no desire to live on a lake full of boats, skiers, jet skis, etc. If I had a million dollars (hey maybe I could write a song about that, nah it would never work) I would buy a place on the North Shore. Now that is a lake! I wrote this while sitting on the balcony of our room overlooking Lake Superior a couple of years ago. My friend Ben Rossow took this and added a chorus and we performed a song he wrote using these lyrics at an open mic event at a restaurant in town. If I get a decent recording of it I'll post it here.

North Shore

An intimidating presence
White-capped waters are all around
Secrets beneath your murky depths
Yet peace for the soul is found

Cold waters on the rocky shore
As endless waves come dancing in
Constant song of wind and waves
Comforts me and cleanses my sin

Rugged shoreline, majestic trees
Lost in the vastness of this space
Endless horizon of sky and sea
Discovering forgiveness and grace

I'm encaptured by your beauty
Awestruck by your powerful ways
God's presence here is all around
I'm thankful for these North Shore days


Oh Ben's chorus goes like this:
From Duluth on to the Portage
What were you made for
Where did you come from
My beloved North Shore

Disagree and Get Along

This one came to me as I listened to the campaigns going on the past year and to people at church. I'm constantly amazed at how I feel the need to be right and in taking that mode of operation I fail to listen and learn from all the amazing people I am surrounded by. One of my new year's resolutions is to sit back and listen, especially to those I disagree with. We have so much to learn from another and often I find that my disagreement is founded on misunderstanding. There always seems to be more we agree on than not and that is a foundation to build on for resolution and ideas. Still I believe as a society we have a problem with being able to disagree and knowing that it is okay.

Disagree and Get Along

Does it have to be a paradox
To disagree and get along
Why can't there be differences
Without it being taken wrong

Exclusion from something meaningful
Just because of different views
It borders on insanity
So why is this the path we choose

It is not a personal affront
To listen to dissonant thought
Or is it all too tolerant
To be challenged and maybe taught

Politician and a minister
Dispute the "facts" they freely spew
As if their words and not actions
Will help determine what is true

My own words disagree with myself
Why can't I live the words I write
To disagree and get along
Would give me vision more than sight

Peace Within This Chaos

While this was written a while back...I have been thinking a great deal about peace, conflict, chaos both personally and in a global way. I would probably add to this poem or change it a bit to reflect on Christ's impact on that peace but I'll put the original version here for now.

Peace Within This Chaos

This world it is so crazy
No time to settle down
Homeless children
Fight a war
As our families break down

Where can I find some refuge
Some peace within this mess
The endless work
And no rest
When does all this madness end

I think I found my answer
Peace within this chaos
My daughters' hugs
My wife's smile
The friends I have been blessed with

I'm back

It's been a long break from blogging but I feel the need to share my thoughts again. I'm going to start with some poetry I've written over the years. I don't know if any of it is any good but it is a way for me to sort through my feelings and thoughts. So here goes...

My first poem...in some ways may be my best...I wrote it in a math class I was bored with when I went back to school for my education degree. It reflects what I was seeing as I did my teacher observation and assistant requirements at Forest City Elementary. It's a long one so hang on.

A Child's Chaos

In the midst of this chaos
Lies the lonely heart of a searching child,
Whose whole life is all but lost.
A life with so many questions and very little reason

Where have we gone wrong?
Is it the parents? Is it the school?
Is it the child? Is it society?
Does it matter who it is?
The question to be asked is,
"How can I help?"

A young boy that has a house
But the reality is he is homeless.
He feels the need to steal.
A life with no perceived value, only objects to take.

Where have we gone wrong?
Is it the divorce? Is it intelligence?
Is it "the system"? Is it our materialism?
Does it matter what it is?
The questions to be asked is,
"How can I help?"

A young girl who has no self-worth,
She feels so ugly and unloved.
She knows she is different.
A life with nothing in common with peers.

Where have we gone wrong?
Is it the television? Is it the magazines?
Is it her classmates? Is it me?
Does it matter who it is?
The questions to be asked is,
"How can I help?"

A class full of children,
Some are friends, some are strangers.
Each one with gifts, each one with faults.
A life filled with children who grow up too soon.

Have we really gone wrong?
Is it the gifts? Is it the faults?
Is it the child? Is it the adult?
Does it really matter?
HOW CAN I HELP?

In the midst of this chaos
Lies a heart full of love
A child searching for acceptance.
A life with so many questions and all the reason
For me to help....a child.