The Sinner In Me

I am a sinner. I screw up, mess up, make mistakes, make poor choices and sin daily. Every person I have ever met is a sinner also. I have yet to meet a person who does not sin. Oh, some of us make bigger mistakes in the human way of ranking sin. Some sins seem as though they are unforgivable. But the fact is, we are all sinners, period. It seems there are many friends, family members and acquaintances in my life who are struggling deeply with their own sinfulness or the imperfections of those around them. It brings deep hurt, a feeling of trust broken and an uncertainty to what lies ahead that is too much to bear much of the time. When those around me are feeling hurt then I feel that hurt as well.

As I sat at Good Friday services tonight this hurt, sinfulness and uncertainty was prevalent in all my thoughts and prayers. I want to fix it all badly but understand that I need fixing as well. There certainly was a time when I would have spent my time judging and condemning but I now try hard to look at these situations and the people in them with a different lens. Due to my own shortcomings and the pain or hurt I have brought to others over the years I have come to a better understanding, less judgmental view of it all. Now don't get me wrong, I am far from having this gracious view perfected but I do understand that I am a sinner with them. So where do we go with all this pain? Well, as my faith journey has gone through the years I have found I have far more questions than answers but this I am sure of...if we try to do this alone we will fail miserably. I will without apology say that for me it is the limitless love and forgiveness of Jesus that brings me the peace I desire. You see there is nothing I can do to earn this love nor is there anything I can do to make it go away. When I try to do things by my own devices I fall miserably short but nothing...NOTHING...I do will ever separate me from God's love and forgiveness. I don't deserve it, don't really understand why it is there but it is, always, forever, without question, without condition. There are no boundaries to this abundant grace. Even a sinner who fails daily such as myself is loved, forgiven and surrounded by grace daily, hourly, every moment. I don't pretend to understand it but I am overwhelmed by this gift.

To my friends who are amongst those that are hurting right now...it is okay. You have the right to hurt, cry, yell, scream and question. You are surrounded by sinners, all of us qualify. Please know and take it to heart, you are loved - by many friends and family members I know - but more importantly unconditionally by a God who gave all we needed to be forgiven. Lent isn't about our sinfulness but about the hope and promise to come. It is almost Easter and He is risen! He is risen indeed! A friend many years ago described how having a child was the closest we could come to experiencing unconditional love. He said that his friends, family, spouse and co-workers could do something that would end the relationship but he could think of nothing that would sever his love for his child. You are God's child and His love, grace and forgiveness is unconditionally yours. There is nothing you can do...NOTHING...that will take that away. I pray that you may feel that peace that passes all understanding.

The young man who was the acolyte tonight had an altar candle that was being stubborn and was difficult to light. Finally, after much perseverance he got it lit. He raised his fist in celebration of victory and a candle lit. I pray that you will be able to raise a fist in celebration of a fire lit in you as you are surrounded and filled by the gracious love and forgiveness of your Lord.