Fears

I am watching Akeela and the Bee with my family (a movie everyone should watch) and this quote was read by Akeela while working with her spelling bee coach. I think it truly talks about my conflicts and struggles as clearly as anything I've read.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. - Marianne Williamson

I have spent much of my adult life thinking I was fearful of failure or my own inadequacies. It has only been in the past few years that I have come to the realization that my deepest fear is that God has blessed me with so many gifts and I am not living up to that potential. I also have a fear that I don't know how to live up to that potential. It leads me to shy away from being the leader and making the impact that I have been called and gifted to be. I don't mean this in an egotistical way and just by saying this I go back to my fear. No, I truly see the gifts of others and enjoy seeing the success of those around me while being fearful of my own success. I do not want to be egotistical, narcissistic or seen by others as selfish. I go to the extreme to prove this. Enough with the "I" statements. Let's look closer at this quote.

Powerful beyond measure....you know isn't that why those of us who are in education are really in it. There is true power in education, it is being an authority and using authority in a powerful and meaningful way. I am a true believer we will change this world not through force or intimidation or coercion but through the authority we get from God and the knowledge we gain. Truly the most powerful people in my time have been people that have not used coercion or violence but the power of the word, of knowledge, of passion, of faith. Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King, Jr., Mahatma Gandhi and historically speaking has anyone impacted our world more than Jesus. A lot of this thought comes from a sermon by Tony Campolo entitled "Earning the Right to Be Heard". I think I'll post this in another blog tonight as it is truly powerful.

Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?
Here is where it is a tough line for me between being self-centered and being real, genuine, powerful, meaningful. A good friend once said that she hates being the center of attention but always seeks it out. I totally relate. I wonder if maybe that's where the struggle lies and without our faith we can't find that delicate balance. You see it's not seeking attention it's following your calling no check that it's following His calling and being bold in knowing that you are brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous not by my own doing but by the gracious gifts that are God given. And YES who am I to not be all that I have been made to be. It may be a greater sin or at least a greater failure for us not to be than to be self-centered in our life.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
Think of those people in your life that have truly changed you, challenged you to be better, impacted how you see life and most importantly others. These people have shined their light and in the process given me and so many others permission to move mountains of all sizes. You know the people I'm talking about, they have a unique quality that is sincere and, here is that word again, genuine. They captivate you without trying. They find no shame in being brilliant, gorgeous, fabulous and talented and yet it is not egotistical. Lord I pray that all of us may feel this, experience this, be this by your grace.

I have so much work to do with this but I think I will read this quote each day and be reminded of who I am called to be. As my friend tells me so often, "Dave do we need to give ourselves a put-up today?" Oh I am given a put-up each and everyday when I get to be with my family, friends and Maker.