Faith Unknown

My faith walk has taken me many places and through many changes. Changes that have been personal, theological, positive, negative, and life-changing. Without my faith I would hate to imagine the choices I would have made or where I would have ended up. With it I have made plenty of mistakes, I can't fathom what they would have been without faith. I can say all the right things, put the right image forward, and know what some see as right. I don't live it as I speak it though. I used to be a real black & white faith guy in my early walk. I must admit I am much more gray now and have far more questions than answers. I don't think this is bad, it causes me to rely more on God's grace and forgiveness. That is truly where it is supposed to be at anyway I think. As I dig further into social and justice issues I am finding my faith, my Jesus, my purpose becoming more defined, more difficult, more real. (More on this later. Some good books to challenge your view on what faith may look like.) This love is so different than the love of the world and so radical that it doesn't fit a description but here is my take on this struggle.

Faith Unknown

I don't deserve
What I've been given
He's changed my life
But how am I livin'

I say the things
You're supposed to say
But I don't live
My faith in that way

I'd like to change
And follow my sounds
I fail often
But His grace abounds

I'm on my knees
'Cause it's all so gray
When on my own
So I'll have to pray

Lord, take my life
And make it your own
Teach me the love
That only you've known