Not a lot to say tonight - another crazy day at school. The lack of functional leadership in our district is starting to take its toll on me and the other staff members. Fortunately, our building is the functional piece of the district right now so as long as we stay in our zone - life is good. Unfortunately, there are a number of decisions that ideally need to be made now so that we can effectively plan for next year but that isn't going to happen as we transition to a new superintendent. Oh well, gainfully employed right!
My real thoughts pertain to the decision we made to put our house on the market and to build on the farm that Esther grew up on if it sells. Esther's mom still lives on the farm and it has been in the family for 60 years. The farm has 40 acres (10 acres of woods and the rest pasture) and houses not only my mother-in-law but our two alpacas. We are blessed to have such a beautiful, fun opportunity and for Esther's siblings being so supportive of our dream. We are also blessed because we have a wonderful home now and if it doesn't sell we are still home.
It has been quite entertaining to hear the brainstorming going on about what could go on at the farm. Certainly the Serenity Now Alpaca Farm, LLC will grow and provide some entrepreneurial opportunities. Esther will hopefully someday be able to just stay at the farm and do her crafty things. My dream involves starting a camp for autistic children using the alpacas as therapy animals. The wonderful Special Ed staff at school is volunteering to help get this idea off the ground and staff it for some summer campers. And if all goes well, maybe we can start selling alpacas and this old fart can retire early! The brothers-in-law named Mark have suggested a vineyard and vodka distillery. (Esther's maiden name is Kopka so it would be Kopka Vodka...Ha!) I'm sure the ideas will continue to grow as time goes on.
I am certainly excited about all the possibilities and to see Esther and her mom so excited about this dream is worth its weight in gold (or in our case alpaca poop). I would be lying, however, if I didn't admit that this free bird has a little bit of a feeling of being trapped. Again, don't get me wrong, not something that keeps me up at night or keeps me from eating. (Far from it!) Just that little thought about what this means for the long haul. As I discussed last night I am always searching for that call that is all that I dream of and completely uses the gifts I've been so freely given. Does this move mean the end to that search for this call? I don't believe so but a thought that crosses my mind. It's the right thing to do and that I have no doubt about that. As usual my problem is there are so many things I still want to do. Most folks think I've done it all by now and are amazed at the experiences we have gone through in our lives. I always seem to have this constant yearning for more...not materially or in any tangible measure of success but through experiences and relationships. There is so much more of this world to explore and learn from right?!
All that being said, I need to be still and know that He is God. Listen, listen some more and when I feel like moving things my way...listen some more. So off we go to a new adventure. Since we are in no hurry to sell our house, it will of course sell in 3 days! Hopefully it warms up soon so we can live in the camper. Feel free to respond with other ideas for how we can turn this farm into a place of dreams and life changing opportunities.
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Monday, April 22, 2013
Purposeful, Passionate, Perplexed and Failed Perfection
This is going to be the first of what I hope will be many daily reflections. My hope is to share as openly and honestly as I can about the thoughts, events and contemplations of each day. More than likely this will be more therapeutic for me than meaningful for both of my readers.
Today was a continuation of what has been a long few days at school. It seems we have more families, parents and students who are dealing with stress in their lives and using the school as the place to release those stresses. I am a people pleaser by nature and it bothers me that their could be parents who are not happy with me or the teachers and staff at our school. I totally support any parents right to advocate for their child and always tell them to never apologize for being that advocate. Sometimes their perspective doesn't match with the reality we see in school and that makes for some difficult conversations. We almost always end in a positive place with a good understanding that we all want what is best for their child. To be honest, I have been very blessed here and have had very few if any times where the wheels seemed to be coming off the bus. It feels like we are closing in on a wheels off the bus moment and I don't like that feeling at all.
All of this leads me to my annual, monthly, weekly, daily, hourly evaluation of who am I called to be and where can I make the most impact. I don't mean this as a way to seek fame or power but truly how can I use the gifts that God has given me in the most meaningful way. Now don't get worried about this or take this as a hint that I'm leaving education or my current job. That is not the case. I find that I am always curious and intrigued by so many facets of life and want to experience them all. I used to think I was trying to find my calling and now have come to realize I am really seeking to figure out what is not my calling. Seems like a subtle difference but it is huge in how I deal with days like today. Instead of looking for ways out...I look for ways to make this better.
The title of this blog kind of encompasses it all for me...I want to be doing something purposeful and that I am passionate about. (That can be anything from homelessness to BBQ!) I get perplexed by where is the best place for me to live a purposeful, passionate life. Not really thinking geographically but more in a soul searching sense. Through all of this I find that I am not a good perfectionist. I am a perfectionist in many ways but I hide it pretty well because I don't handle failure well. This failed perfection is still my biggest block to becoming all that God has in store for me. My sinful self-pride and ego doesn't let me be real very often if I am totally honest. I have learned to play the game well but struggle to find that place or those people that I can really become completely real...zits and all. This struggle does not make me unhappy but it may be quite the understatement to say I am often restless.
I'm not really seeking an answer from others...I think the answers come as part of this wonderful journey I'm on and the unspoken prayers that go through my heart and head each day. As I've told many when I found out I did not get the superintendent position here, while I was disappointed I am abundantly blessed. That is so completely true it cannot be overstated. I get that, I am thankful for so much and yet, Dave Endicott, always is reflective and wondering who he is and what he can do to feel fulfilled. This journey to be purposeful and passionate will mean a lifetime of perplexity I believe.
Today was a continuation of what has been a long few days at school. It seems we have more families, parents and students who are dealing with stress in their lives and using the school as the place to release those stresses. I am a people pleaser by nature and it bothers me that their could be parents who are not happy with me or the teachers and staff at our school. I totally support any parents right to advocate for their child and always tell them to never apologize for being that advocate. Sometimes their perspective doesn't match with the reality we see in school and that makes for some difficult conversations. We almost always end in a positive place with a good understanding that we all want what is best for their child. To be honest, I have been very blessed here and have had very few if any times where the wheels seemed to be coming off the bus. It feels like we are closing in on a wheels off the bus moment and I don't like that feeling at all.
All of this leads me to my annual, monthly, weekly, daily, hourly evaluation of who am I called to be and where can I make the most impact. I don't mean this as a way to seek fame or power but truly how can I use the gifts that God has given me in the most meaningful way. Now don't get worried about this or take this as a hint that I'm leaving education or my current job. That is not the case. I find that I am always curious and intrigued by so many facets of life and want to experience them all. I used to think I was trying to find my calling and now have come to realize I am really seeking to figure out what is not my calling. Seems like a subtle difference but it is huge in how I deal with days like today. Instead of looking for ways out...I look for ways to make this better.
The title of this blog kind of encompasses it all for me...I want to be doing something purposeful and that I am passionate about. (That can be anything from homelessness to BBQ!) I get perplexed by where is the best place for me to live a purposeful, passionate life. Not really thinking geographically but more in a soul searching sense. Through all of this I find that I am not a good perfectionist. I am a perfectionist in many ways but I hide it pretty well because I don't handle failure well. This failed perfection is still my biggest block to becoming all that God has in store for me. My sinful self-pride and ego doesn't let me be real very often if I am totally honest. I have learned to play the game well but struggle to find that place or those people that I can really become completely real...zits and all. This struggle does not make me unhappy but it may be quite the understatement to say I am often restless.
I'm not really seeking an answer from others...I think the answers come as part of this wonderful journey I'm on and the unspoken prayers that go through my heart and head each day. As I've told many when I found out I did not get the superintendent position here, while I was disappointed I am abundantly blessed. That is so completely true it cannot be overstated. I get that, I am thankful for so much and yet, Dave Endicott, always is reflective and wondering who he is and what he can do to feel fulfilled. This journey to be purposeful and passionate will mean a lifetime of perplexity I believe.
Friday, December 14, 2012
In light of today's tragic events I thought this, my first poem, fit the emotion of the night.
A
Child's Chaos by Dave Endicott
In
the midst of this chaos
Lies
the lonely heart of a searching child,
Whose
whole life is all but lost.
A
life with so many questions and very little reason
Where
have we gone wrong?
Is
it the parents? Is it the school?
Is
it the child? Is it society?
Does
it matter who it is?
The
question to be asked is,
"How
can I help?"
A
young boy that has a house
But
the reality is he is homeless.
He
feels the need to steal.
A
life with no perceived value, only objects to take.
Where
have we gone wrong?
Is
it the divorce? Is it intelligence?
Is
it "the system"? Is it our materialism?
Does
it matter what it is?
The
questions to be asked is,
"How
can I help?"
A
young girl who has no self-worth,
She
feels so ugly and unloved.
She
knows she is different.
A
life with nothing in common with peers.
Where
have we gone wrong?
Is
it the television? Is it the magazines?
Is
it her classmates? Is it me?
Does
it matter who it is?
The
questions to be asked is,
"How
can I help?"
A
class full of children,
Some
are friends, some are strangers.
Each
one with gifts, each one with faults.
A
life filled with children who grow up too soon.
Have
we really gone wrong?
Is
it the gifts? Is it the faults?
Is
it the child? Is it the adult?
Does
it really matter?
HOW
CAN I HELP?
In
the midst of this chaos
Lies
a heart full of love
A
child searching for acceptance.
A
life with so many questions and all the reason
For me to help....a child.
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Unexpectedly
I have had a couple of ideas ruminating in my head for new blog ideas. This blog is not about any of those ideas. Never would I have imagined writing about what I'm going to write about today, at least not for another 40 or 50 years. My wife received a phone call this morning telling us that her cousin Tim Kopka had passed away unexpectedly from a massive heart attack. To say this was a shock or unexpected would be the largest of understatements one could make. Tim was in his 40's and had become in recent years a workout fanatic. But this is not why I write about him today.
I am probably the last person to share about Tim as I know there are 100's and 1000's of others who knew him far better than I ever had the chance. We probably met in person no more than a handful of times over our lifetime. Each time we met, there was an instant connection. There was an understanding, a love of life that we shared in a unique way. Now as much as I'd like to believe that we had something special in our friendship, I am quite confident that there are many who would say the same thing from their meetings with Tim. He connected and made you feel valued immediately without judgment or condition. My experience was not a unique one. Words can't explain some of the intangible qualities that Tim had but know that his heart for life, family and friends was special and though his life was cut far short of what we expected his impact on people's lives far exceeded that of his short life.
We first met at Heidi and Mark Tooley's wedding if I remember correctly. Being someone who dreads large group gatherings and celebrations I must admit I went to this event with a poor attitude. When the weekend ended it was one of the highlight weekends of my life. Tim and his brother Paul along with the other cousins and various relatives laughed so hard throughout the weekend that my jaws hurt for a week. This was the beginning of significant sharing, both fun and personal, over the years. Most of our sharing happened via Facebook or email or an occasional phone call. I think Tim was one of the two or three people who actually read my blogs when I was a regular writer. We shared some deep thoughts together over those blogs as we both struggled to find God's calling for our lives and our search was painful at times. That is probably not how people remember Tim and certainly not Tim and me together. We laughed - A LOT - when we were together. I literally could have spent hour upon hour with him and never tired of the humor or the deeper conversations that we shared.
As I stated earlier, I know there are many who knew Tim far better and far longer. I could go on and on about the laughs and thoughts that were shared though our time was short. Tim became the first and to this date only investor in our alpaca farm. We had the chance to come together a few months ago for my father-in-law's funeral (Tim's uncle). Per our usual times together the conversations flowed easily. Part of our discussion was about the alpaca farm my wife and I were starting and we even went to visit the critters. A conversation about being investors in the alpaca farm must have occurred because lo and behold a couple of months later I received a letter with a check in it for $55. Tim had remembered that our alpacas cost us $5500 and wanted to buy a 1/100th share of our enterprise. His note was hilarious and he told us to invest it or take Gertraude (mother-in-law for me, aunt for Tim) out for a beer. I laughed out loud for awhile upon opening this letter drawing the curiosity of my wife. We talked via phone after that and shared the laughter about this. That was Tim - he found a way to make us laugh and more importantly he listened and knew exactly what was said. Tim lived life the way it was meant to be lived - HE LAUGHED OFTEN, LOVED DEEPLY AND SHARED FREELY.
Tim tried many times to get me together with him to go mountain biking and drink beer. I do neither of these activities but would have just to be able to spend more time with this fine man. Tim - save a mountain bike ride for me in heaven and I'll even drink a beer with you afterwards. I can tell you this, I am more ready for heaven now than ever because I know there are many laughs and great conversations waiting. Heaven just became a more fun reality thanks to God's newest angel. I'm going to go for a bike ride now and then a beer, in memory of Tim.
I am probably the last person to share about Tim as I know there are 100's and 1000's of others who knew him far better than I ever had the chance. We probably met in person no more than a handful of times over our lifetime. Each time we met, there was an instant connection. There was an understanding, a love of life that we shared in a unique way. Now as much as I'd like to believe that we had something special in our friendship, I am quite confident that there are many who would say the same thing from their meetings with Tim. He connected and made you feel valued immediately without judgment or condition. My experience was not a unique one. Words can't explain some of the intangible qualities that Tim had but know that his heart for life, family and friends was special and though his life was cut far short of what we expected his impact on people's lives far exceeded that of his short life.
We first met at Heidi and Mark Tooley's wedding if I remember correctly. Being someone who dreads large group gatherings and celebrations I must admit I went to this event with a poor attitude. When the weekend ended it was one of the highlight weekends of my life. Tim and his brother Paul along with the other cousins and various relatives laughed so hard throughout the weekend that my jaws hurt for a week. This was the beginning of significant sharing, both fun and personal, over the years. Most of our sharing happened via Facebook or email or an occasional phone call. I think Tim was one of the two or three people who actually read my blogs when I was a regular writer. We shared some deep thoughts together over those blogs as we both struggled to find God's calling for our lives and our search was painful at times. That is probably not how people remember Tim and certainly not Tim and me together. We laughed - A LOT - when we were together. I literally could have spent hour upon hour with him and never tired of the humor or the deeper conversations that we shared.
As I stated earlier, I know there are many who knew Tim far better and far longer. I could go on and on about the laughs and thoughts that were shared though our time was short. Tim became the first and to this date only investor in our alpaca farm. We had the chance to come together a few months ago for my father-in-law's funeral (Tim's uncle). Per our usual times together the conversations flowed easily. Part of our discussion was about the alpaca farm my wife and I were starting and we even went to visit the critters. A conversation about being investors in the alpaca farm must have occurred because lo and behold a couple of months later I received a letter with a check in it for $55. Tim had remembered that our alpacas cost us $5500 and wanted to buy a 1/100th share of our enterprise. His note was hilarious and he told us to invest it or take Gertraude (mother-in-law for me, aunt for Tim) out for a beer. I laughed out loud for awhile upon opening this letter drawing the curiosity of my wife. We talked via phone after that and shared the laughter about this. That was Tim - he found a way to make us laugh and more importantly he listened and knew exactly what was said. Tim lived life the way it was meant to be lived - HE LAUGHED OFTEN, LOVED DEEPLY AND SHARED FREELY.
Tim tried many times to get me together with him to go mountain biking and drink beer. I do neither of these activities but would have just to be able to spend more time with this fine man. Tim - save a mountain bike ride for me in heaven and I'll even drink a beer with you afterwards. I can tell you this, I am more ready for heaven now than ever because I know there are many laughs and great conversations waiting. Heaven just became a more fun reality thanks to God's newest angel. I'm going to go for a bike ride now and then a beer, in memory of Tim.
Friday, April 6, 2012
The Sinner In Me
I am a sinner. I screw up, mess up, make mistakes, make poor choices and sin daily. Every person I have ever met is a sinner also. I have yet to meet a person who does not sin. Oh, some of us make bigger mistakes in the human way of ranking sin. Some sins seem as though they are unforgivable. But the fact is, we are all sinners, period. It seems there are many friends, family members and acquaintances in my life who are struggling deeply with their own sinfulness or the imperfections of those around them. It brings deep hurt, a feeling of trust broken and an uncertainty to what lies ahead that is too much to bear much of the time. When those around me are feeling hurt then I feel that hurt as well.
As I sat at Good Friday services tonight this hurt, sinfulness and uncertainty was prevalent in all my thoughts and prayers. I want to fix it all badly but understand that I need fixing as well. There certainly was a time when I would have spent my time judging and condemning but I now try hard to look at these situations and the people in them with a different lens. Due to my own shortcomings and the pain or hurt I have brought to others over the years I have come to a better understanding, less judgmental view of it all. Now don't get me wrong, I am far from having this gracious view perfected but I do understand that I am a sinner with them. So where do we go with all this pain? Well, as my faith journey has gone through the years I have found I have far more questions than answers but this I am sure of...if we try to do this alone we will fail miserably. I will without apology say that for me it is the limitless love and forgiveness of Jesus that brings me the peace I desire. You see there is nothing I can do to earn this love nor is there anything I can do to make it go away. When I try to do things by my own devices I fall miserably short but nothing...NOTHING...I do will ever separate me from God's love and forgiveness. I don't deserve it, don't really understand why it is there but it is, always, forever, without question, without condition. There are no boundaries to this abundant grace. Even a sinner who fails daily such as myself is loved, forgiven and surrounded by grace daily, hourly, every moment. I don't pretend to understand it but I am overwhelmed by this gift.
To my friends who are amongst those that are hurting right now...it is okay. You have the right to hurt, cry, yell, scream and question. You are surrounded by sinners, all of us qualify. Please know and take it to heart, you are loved - by many friends and family members I know - but more importantly unconditionally by a God who gave all we needed to be forgiven. Lent isn't about our sinfulness but about the hope and promise to come. It is almost Easter and He is risen! He is risen indeed! A friend many years ago described how having a child was the closest we could come to experiencing unconditional love. He said that his friends, family, spouse and co-workers could do something that would end the relationship but he could think of nothing that would sever his love for his child. You are God's child and His love, grace and forgiveness is unconditionally yours. There is nothing you can do...NOTHING...that will take that away. I pray that you may feel that peace that passes all understanding.
The young man who was the acolyte tonight had an altar candle that was being stubborn and was difficult to light. Finally, after much perseverance he got it lit. He raised his fist in celebration of victory and a candle lit. I pray that you will be able to raise a fist in celebration of a fire lit in you as you are surrounded and filled by the gracious love and forgiveness of your Lord.
As I sat at Good Friday services tonight this hurt, sinfulness and uncertainty was prevalent in all my thoughts and prayers. I want to fix it all badly but understand that I need fixing as well. There certainly was a time when I would have spent my time judging and condemning but I now try hard to look at these situations and the people in them with a different lens. Due to my own shortcomings and the pain or hurt I have brought to others over the years I have come to a better understanding, less judgmental view of it all. Now don't get me wrong, I am far from having this gracious view perfected but I do understand that I am a sinner with them. So where do we go with all this pain? Well, as my faith journey has gone through the years I have found I have far more questions than answers but this I am sure of...if we try to do this alone we will fail miserably. I will without apology say that for me it is the limitless love and forgiveness of Jesus that brings me the peace I desire. You see there is nothing I can do to earn this love nor is there anything I can do to make it go away. When I try to do things by my own devices I fall miserably short but nothing...NOTHING...I do will ever separate me from God's love and forgiveness. I don't deserve it, don't really understand why it is there but it is, always, forever, without question, without condition. There are no boundaries to this abundant grace. Even a sinner who fails daily such as myself is loved, forgiven and surrounded by grace daily, hourly, every moment. I don't pretend to understand it but I am overwhelmed by this gift.
To my friends who are amongst those that are hurting right now...it is okay. You have the right to hurt, cry, yell, scream and question. You are surrounded by sinners, all of us qualify. Please know and take it to heart, you are loved - by many friends and family members I know - but more importantly unconditionally by a God who gave all we needed to be forgiven. Lent isn't about our sinfulness but about the hope and promise to come. It is almost Easter and He is risen! He is risen indeed! A friend many years ago described how having a child was the closest we could come to experiencing unconditional love. He said that his friends, family, spouse and co-workers could do something that would end the relationship but he could think of nothing that would sever his love for his child. You are God's child and His love, grace and forgiveness is unconditionally yours. There is nothing you can do...NOTHING...that will take that away. I pray that you may feel that peace that passes all understanding.
The young man who was the acolyte tonight had an altar candle that was being stubborn and was difficult to light. Finally, after much perseverance he got it lit. He raised his fist in celebration of victory and a candle lit. I pray that you will be able to raise a fist in celebration of a fire lit in you as you are surrounded and filled by the gracious love and forgiveness of your Lord.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Life
It's been awhile since I last blogged and as I looked back at my last post in May it was entitled "Perspective" I believe. I shared how a youn,g girl, in my school at the time, had brought me a healthy dose of perspective. Well tonight it is my 91 year old grandmother who brings perspective from the other side of life.
Grandmother is waiting for the angels to call as she lies in her room in the Hospice House in Hutchinson, KS. It is dark in here tonight as I sit beside her bed thinking about all that life has been for her and what I want it to be for me and those I love. She has endured plenty, loved much and been an important part of many lives.
Having been in the hospital room to see the birth of our two daughters I have experienced first hand the indescribable joy of new life. Now I sit, listen, watch and wonder which breath will be her last. The indescribable pain of loss is just as powerful an emotion as the joy that new life brought forth. However, there is a strange dichotomy of feelings as I can celebrate a 91 year old life that was packed with so much as well as feel the anticipation of loss. I'm not sure what that means to be honest but I am thankful there is much to celebrate along with the knowledge there is impending tears and sadness.
When our father passed away a couple of years ago it was truly a blessing to see how our family put away any petty differences we had and just were there for each other. However we needed to be, we were, without judgment, without thought, just here I am, I need you, I love you, you are an important part of who I am and will always be. I sense that happening again today and tonight. A family that is spread all over the world suddenly comes together just to comfort, pray and feel the connection we sometimes overlook and take for granted. Now is a time where it is felt to the inner core of our soul. We are connected and what a beautiful blessing that is.
I've been thinking about that word beautiful lately...it is sometimes overused in our media and perhaps by each of us. What a beautiful _____. You fill in the blank. But it is taking on new meaning for me. For me beauty is not an exterior thing, it is not bought or seen on the surface, no it is an intangible, immeasurable quality that comes from deep inside. You see it, feel it in a person's soul when looking into their eyes. A friend of my grandmother's stopped by the Hospice House today and described her as beautiful and she was not talking about her appearance but her soul. She was so right. The beauty of beautiful, if you will, is that it overcomes the quirks, dysfunctions and warts of our outer being and shines forth without flaw.
I am surrounded by beauty in my life and today has reminded me I need to slow down and take in all that is beautiful. Tonight it is my grandmother, as emaciated as she is physically, there is beauty. By the overabundant grace of God I pray that His beauty may overcome my deficiencies and there are many. Through all this perspective talk I have been shown that no matter where we are at in our journey through life, whether it be as a young child or an elder waiting for the angel's call, God is with us always and forever. There is much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving season. May each of you be touched by the beauty in those around you and overwhelmed by the beautiful grace of Emmanuel.
Grandmother is waiting for the angels to call as she lies in her room in the Hospice House in Hutchinson, KS. It is dark in here tonight as I sit beside her bed thinking about all that life has been for her and what I want it to be for me and those I love. She has endured plenty, loved much and been an important part of many lives.
Having been in the hospital room to see the birth of our two daughters I have experienced first hand the indescribable joy of new life. Now I sit, listen, watch and wonder which breath will be her last. The indescribable pain of loss is just as powerful an emotion as the joy that new life brought forth. However, there is a strange dichotomy of feelings as I can celebrate a 91 year old life that was packed with so much as well as feel the anticipation of loss. I'm not sure what that means to be honest but I am thankful there is much to celebrate along with the knowledge there is impending tears and sadness.
When our father passed away a couple of years ago it was truly a blessing to see how our family put away any petty differences we had and just were there for each other. However we needed to be, we were, without judgment, without thought, just here I am, I need you, I love you, you are an important part of who I am and will always be. I sense that happening again today and tonight. A family that is spread all over the world suddenly comes together just to comfort, pray and feel the connection we sometimes overlook and take for granted. Now is a time where it is felt to the inner core of our soul. We are connected and what a beautiful blessing that is.
I've been thinking about that word beautiful lately...it is sometimes overused in our media and perhaps by each of us. What a beautiful _____. You fill in the blank. But it is taking on new meaning for me. For me beauty is not an exterior thing, it is not bought or seen on the surface, no it is an intangible, immeasurable quality that comes from deep inside. You see it, feel it in a person's soul when looking into their eyes. A friend of my grandmother's stopped by the Hospice House today and described her as beautiful and she was not talking about her appearance but her soul. She was so right. The beauty of beautiful, if you will, is that it overcomes the quirks, dysfunctions and warts of our outer being and shines forth without flaw.
I am surrounded by beauty in my life and today has reminded me I need to slow down and take in all that is beautiful. Tonight it is my grandmother, as emaciated as she is physically, there is beauty. By the overabundant grace of God I pray that His beauty may overcome my deficiencies and there are many. Through all this perspective talk I have been shown that no matter where we are at in our journey through life, whether it be as a young child or an elder waiting for the angel's call, God is with us always and forever. There is much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving season. May each of you be touched by the beauty in those around you and overwhelmed by the beautiful grace of Emmanuel.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
A Little Perspective Goes A Long Way
Today as I was sitting in my office stewing over the stressors of the day I was changed in a powerful way by a young student in our school. Now mind you these stressors, while bothersome, pale in comparison to the life challenges many others face. That being said, it has been a tiring, stressful year and I've done my darnedest to wallow in self-pity whenever possible. Then I got a dose of perspective this afternoon that I will cling to whenever I get into this self-loathing mode.
A young student who has had some serious life trauma in her life and has all the reason to not trust adults, came into my office and made this day, no life come into perspective. She never lets her past get in the way of her being a true light each day. Delightful is the adjective that comes to mind when I think of her. I've tried to be sensitive to her past and respect her space in every way I can while still providing care and support as best I can as an elementary principal.
This afternoon she came into my office and handed me a letter that she had written. She is moving away from our community this summer and her letter was letting me know how much she will miss me and how much she trusted me. It had plenty of misspellings, punctuation errors and grammatical mistakes and none of that mattered. The sincerity and gratitude expressed was overwhelming. I wept. She gave me two big hugs which was truly a miracle.
She gave me perspective. We talked about us both moving and how much we would miss each other. She smiled and had a sparkle in her eyes that showed a feeling of understanding far beyond her years. Suddenly all the issues of the day and week were washed away in tears of thankfulness and celebration. When Jesus said be childlike I believe this is exactly what he meant. This tiny body made a huge impact. She got it long before I did and I am all the better for it. I understood again why it is I work in education - kids - plain and simple. They are truly amazing and I have been given far more from the little ones than I could possibly give back.
If you are an adult, at least in age, and are like most of us, buried in the busyness of life, stuck on the stressors of each day - take time to be with a child. Be amazed at how simple they make life and how they get it, they just get it. It's not the things, not the politics, not the theology, no it is the people, their smiles, their eyes, their remarkable ability to forgive and go play. So I will take this perspective and try to bring it to each day again. I will fail along the way and a young person will remind me again what it is all about.
A young student who has had some serious life trauma in her life and has all the reason to not trust adults, came into my office and made this day, no life come into perspective. She never lets her past get in the way of her being a true light each day. Delightful is the adjective that comes to mind when I think of her. I've tried to be sensitive to her past and respect her space in every way I can while still providing care and support as best I can as an elementary principal.
This afternoon she came into my office and handed me a letter that she had written. She is moving away from our community this summer and her letter was letting me know how much she will miss me and how much she trusted me. It had plenty of misspellings, punctuation errors and grammatical mistakes and none of that mattered. The sincerity and gratitude expressed was overwhelming. I wept. She gave me two big hugs which was truly a miracle.
She gave me perspective. We talked about us both moving and how much we would miss each other. She smiled and had a sparkle in her eyes that showed a feeling of understanding far beyond her years. Suddenly all the issues of the day and week were washed away in tears of thankfulness and celebration. When Jesus said be childlike I believe this is exactly what he meant. This tiny body made a huge impact. She got it long before I did and I am all the better for it. I understood again why it is I work in education - kids - plain and simple. They are truly amazing and I have been given far more from the little ones than I could possibly give back.
If you are an adult, at least in age, and are like most of us, buried in the busyness of life, stuck on the stressors of each day - take time to be with a child. Be amazed at how simple they make life and how they get it, they just get it. It's not the things, not the politics, not the theology, no it is the people, their smiles, their eyes, their remarkable ability to forgive and go play. So I will take this perspective and try to bring it to each day again. I will fail along the way and a young person will remind me again what it is all about.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)