A few months ago I had the daunting task of writing the toughest "paper" of all, an obituary for my dad. It was something I never planned to write or expected to write at this point in life. To put a person's life into a short diatribe and bring forth not just their accomplishments but to bring out their personality is always difficult but when it is your parent and you are representing not just your own experience but that of your siblings, well to say it was a challenge would be the understatement of the century. My siblings did a much better job than I did in the obituary during their sharing at the funeral. As I reflected on that time and as I sat at another funeral this past week it got me to think about what my dad's legacy is and what I would like my own to be. How do I remember my dad and others who have had an impact on my life and how do I want to be remembered when I am called Home?
This is my third attempt to write about my dad since his death and I'm still not sure I can effectively communicate all the emotions and feelings that have processed through my mind. I have to say that hearing from all of the former staff members and students who were impacted by my dad was...I'm not sure if there is a word for it but I guess it was a confirmation of why I held my dad in such high esteem and a vision of what I want my legacy to be. My dad was a teacher, coach and school administrator. (Does this sound familiar?) Dad was a person who I admired to the point of being a hero in some respects. The last few years as his health became a bigger concern he became a man that wasn't a good representation of all that I grew up to know but that hasn't tarnished the high esteem I hold my father in. All that I have become and hope to become as a father and now a principal are ideals that I learned from Dad.
I believe that if asked by his kids and colleagues what words described Dad the words integrity, honesty, sacrifice, unselfish, dignity would be the most prevalant words used. He was held in high esteem as an educator, one who was looking for the best ways to meet the needs of all students and in fact those students who some would have labeled "trouble" were the ones he probably connected most closely with. As a parent, it can be summed up in the fact that he was a single parent father of four children in a time when that role was unheard of particularly for an educational professional. He gave up career opportunity after career opportunity to be able to spend his summers with his kids. I don't think he missed one single concert, play, game or activity that any of his four children participated in. He was a man that believed in doing the right thing no matter what the circumstances and believed that all people should be treated with respect and dignity. I am sure my view of Dad is loftier than reality to some extent but he taught me much and I can only hope that I can be half of the father and educator that he was.
So what do I want my legacy to be when my time on this earth is done? My biggest legacy is already done, my two daughters, a legacy I share with my wife. I am very proud of the kind of people our girls have grown up to be so far. They have a much more mature understanding of people and life than I probably ever will have. If Rachel and Emma are the only legacy I leave behind I will consider life quite successful. However, as usual, I want more. I hope that when I die people not only think of how obnoxious I was and how I tried a little bit of everything in life but that there is evidence that I did unto the least of my brethren something powerful and positive. I pray that somehow there is evidence that I used the gifts God so graciously bestowed upon me to make a difference (as trite as that sounds) and that I didn't just live in this world but that I loved and showed compassion. Last, I hope that by the time my funeral comes the words grace, compassion, forgiveness and all those words that so fittingly belonged to my dad will be shared by others.
My dad was a father and a teacher and I can think of no two words that I would want to be used for my legacy more than those two. I pray that I will be a father and a teacher whose legacy is not fame and fortune but changed lives and eternal blessings. I have experienced many failures and some successes in these realms. Grace and forgiveness have been experienced more selfishly than shared unselfishly and for that I will have to continue to pray and change so that others experience the grace and forgiveness that I have kept to myself.
To all of those who have put up with me, shared with me, challenged me, encouraged me, prayed for me, prayed with me and have forgiven me...THANK YOU! You have all made me a better person and I am abundantly blessed with an incredible family and wonderful friends. Your legacies have significantly impacted my legacy.
